My editorial asst told me it was a good read but had some pacing problems. I looked over it and agreed. I told the author, "this is a good read. Very enjoyable. That makes what I have to say very hard." I offered the following explanation:
The problem is I am being offered hundreds of good books. But what editors are hunting are exceptional books. An exceptional book stands head and shoulders above good books the way a good book stands head and shoulders above the mundane. An exceptional book is a unique story or new take on a subject that has been done, and it is written in a unique voice and style.
I am getting very close to the maximum number of clients that I can handle so I'm searching for that exceptional book. That story and voice that I HAVE to take no matter how many clients I have or how heavy my workload is. Even though this is a good read the pacing of the story caused it to lag in places, particularly at the end, and the ending was good but rather predictable.
So many writers think they are through when they write the story. Actually that's when crafting the story begins. Like a director of a movie that takes all the raw scenes that he's shot and starts weaving them into a movie, the writer takes the raw chapters and starts working on the pacing and the flow, engaging the reader here and picking up the pace there. Moving scenes to push a reader at the end of chapter into the next. Watching to see that it doesn't slow down at a point to where the reader loses interest. In my opinion you now need to take off your writer hat and direct this piece - make it flow so you pull the reader in and then subtly guide them through it.
I would love to see this again if you can take a good book . . . and make it exceptional.